An Ode to Augustana’s Beloved Pool Tables


It is no secret we all love our hub of socialization, the two distinguished pool tables; blessed as they are to have witnessed ages of awkward interactions, spirited competition or stirrings of flirtations. I resonate on a spiritual level with the zip ties holding the pockets together; they have seen better days and so have we. At the verge of falling apart and needing to clear my head hitting colorful balls around, said zip ties provide me with the emotional strength to keep going. After all, they’ve been in university way longer than I have. These bad boys look like they’ve been around since the invention of the game itself, and have seen more action than a Vegas stripper and have more battle scars than a hardened war veteran.

Upon closer inspection, one may notice that these tables are not exactly regulation size, but that’s part of their charm. But as we all know, time takes its toll on even the sturdiest of objects. The felt on these tables is frayed, the cues are chipped, and the balls are, well, we’re not really sure what’s happened to the balls. But despite their worn-out appearance, these tables still manage to bring people together.

But the real beauty of these tables lies in their unpredictability. Sure, you may think you have the shot lined up perfectly, but the table has other ideas. It may cause the cue ball to veer off course, sending it careening into a pocket you didn’t even know existed. And who needs aiming when you’ve got luck and skill on your side? I asked some of the students who regularly play on this table if they’ve noticed anything peculiar about it. One student replied, “Yeah, sometimes the balls roll uphill.” Another commented, “I swear the table is haunted. Every time I’m about to make the 8-ball, it jumps out of the pocket.”

While we’re all hoping to graduate as soon as possible, we sure hope these tables don’t!

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