Faculty Follies: A Blunt Comedy

BY HIEN NGUYEN / Dagligtale Staff Writer

On Thursday, March 28th, Augustana Campus Forum was filled with a crazy long line of students. Wait a second! Is there an emergency happening in the First Year Dorms so students must move? No? What kind of event can lead our busy students to show up at 6:15 pm for an event that starts at 7 pm? Welcome to the Faculty Follies of 2019, one of the most anticipated events of the year!

“An act of foolishness is called folly”. If you are used to your professors’ serious faces in class, you are underestimating them. The Faculty Follies are a chance to see how your professors can entertain you with their foolish acts. I can do nothing more than applaud when seeing many professors on stage. Although our professors are not professional dancers, their dancing styles warmed up the room.

Our Dean jokingly talked about the 3-11, our new curriculum, and the importance of maintaining the Augustana legacy. If three-week classes are still too much for you, he also introduced a brand-new program called “the 24 hour class.” The main advantage of this class is to reduce student stress and make time for the Augustana Faculty to focus on their research. It was ridiculously funny how this course worked, as you had essays due at 10 am on the first day of the class, a midterm at noon, and the final project at 5 pm. You would rarely see your professors because they would only come to class before the last hour to give your presentation marks. And if you don’t like it, you can “go the f*ck to sleep.”

Ok, it’s weed time. If you haven’t heard about the best spots to toke on campus yet, the professors can give you some hints. If the quad or the chemistry lab comes to mind first, then congratulations, you aren’t weird at all! Some people even think about toking it up on the climbing wall, inside the ASA office, or as one professor mentions: “[in] the First Year Dorm, [because then] it actually starts to smell good”. Those jokes are great but be aware that Augustana has two designated areas for cannabis users. Remember: “a friend with weed is a friend indeed”.

Follies, as its name implies, is full of foolishness. However, it is one of the most successful events I have seen on our campus. No food is provided, no games are played; but seeing your professors is enough to uplift your day. I could hardly believe my eyes when seeing my math professor in his green dress, performing like a real dancer to the 1980s background music; or when learning to pronounce the new Dean’s last name; or when thinking about the joke of a liberal arts degree vs. sex. I finally understand why we were all willing to wait for 45 minutes to see it. See you at the Faculty Follies in two years!

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