Ask Amber

Dear Amber,

Winter depression has settled in and I find myself missing work and school when I can’t leave bed. I am worried I won’t be able to bounce back from this in time for midterms. What do you advise?

2Sad2Go2School

 

Dear 2Sad2Go2School

Have you tried not being depressed? If so, might I suggest one night consisting of only a bath, a percocet, and fuzzy bathrobe accompanied by an entire season of House. That does the trick for me.

Let me know!

– Amber

Dear Amber,

My boyfriend broke up with me over Christmas break, AFTER we had already spent it together. I had spent a lot of money on him and my family spoiled him too since we didn’t know what was coming! I’m so angry and I don’t know what to do?

PostChristmasBreakUp

 

Dear PostChristmasBreakUp

Your first mistake was dating a man, and your second mistake was spending money on someone else. If you can’t sue him in small claims court, consider your losses cut and spend next years Christmas money on some jager bombs and a ticket to Cirque de Soleil (those two things work best when combined).

Lots of love,

Amber

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