By CAROLYN VENTER

Personal thank you to that one person on Chitter who said that that the Dag is unprofessional and doesn’t write anything “remotely resembling a real newspaper” because not only did I actually prepare interview questions for this but I also recorded the interview instead of taking half-assed notes. So take that random $#% of a #@*(% from Chitter. I’m a $#&*(%! journalist covering the biggest issue to ever plague Augustana: the Feud Between The Medium and The Dag.

I sat down with a man by the name of Emil Yim, who takes his job at our rival media outlet “The Medium” significantly more seriously than I take mine.

He stated that he started working for the Medium because he is “always up for helping with a start-up” and that he’s “at most events in one capacity or another taking photos anyways.” When asked whether he felt there was a competition between the Medium and the Dag he said “I don’t really think there is a competition because they just go two different ways so there isn’t really a clash of niches. If you want to read something you know which place to go for that. At Main Campus there are many different student publications so why not here.” Very eloquently put Emil. If you want to read good material, go to the Dag. If you want to read bad material, go to the Medium. Kidding. In the words of my Editor when I pitched this story “This isn’t going to be inflammatory is it?”

Next I asked Emil “If you had to hate someone on the Dag team, who would it be?” To which he replied “I don’t really hate people” then I was like “Okay well have you ever seen someone wear a really bad outfit?” to which he replied “Even If you extend that to all of Augustana, I don’t really hate people,” “That’s fair I guess,” I said, pretending to understand.

When I asked him “which one of our articles looked the dumbest?” He said:

“Maybe the Horoscopes. Some of them just seem really random and could use some work, just because some people don’t take it as a joke.” I heeded his advice and did what any respectable journalist who writes for a school newspaper and makes up Horoscopes would do, I stole them from the Seattle Times.

Lastly I asked Emil what he thought would be the best way to settle the feud between the Medium and the Dag. I threw out a couple ideas like Mud Wrestling, Beat Poetry, or an Eating Contest.

He stated that: “It would purely be a political move one way or another but I would be down to make an event out of it.”

So if you are sick and tired of the feud between the Medium and the Dag tearing this school apart, write to us and tell us that yes, you would like to see us settle this once and for all with a contest that combines wits, physical superiority, and probably a whole lot of money I’m not sure where we would get.