by ISABELL STAMM
There once was a prince, who was searching for a princess to call his wife. He searched far and wide but alas he could not find her. His father bestowed some wisdom upon him, to search in a new place. To start a Tinder account and see where it takes him. He was amazed by all the wonderful ladies he saw, but he was looking for The One. And so he started swiping. Faces sprung up, left and left and left. Not one caught his eye, and he wanted to give up. But alas, he found her, and within 100 km no doubt! She had long blonde hair, right down to the floor Tinder said. With “Down to Earth Girl, Searching for Prince” on her profile, it seemed a dream come true! So he swiped right and waited, hoping she would connect with him. Not long after he had a match! She was the girl of his dreams, so he messaged her right away.
She was witty and smart, and everything he could ever want.
He asked to meet her by the park for a date, but she insisted the bar was a better place. He agreed, with a smiley face.
He rode to the bar in his friend’s new truck, and couldn’t wait to finally meet his princess. He walked in and looked around, for the girl with the long blonde hair. It wasn’t long before he found her sitting alone, with four empty shots of tequila on the table. He walked up with a smile to introduce himself, but she seemed to already know who he was.
“Prince Charming! Look at you! You look even better in person.” She stumbled as she tried to stand up to hug him. He smiled and held her up, like a true gentleman. She asked him if they could move their date somewhere else, somewhere a little more private. He was thrilled, to be able to talk to her without all the loud music, so he agreed. She led him to the street and into a cab, then into her apartment and shut the door fast. Grabbed onto his shirt and you know the rest. He fell asleep on her sofa thinking, “Now this is my kind of princess.”
He woke up the next morning feeling like quite a mess, his princess was nowhere to be seen. He gathered his clothes and looked around to find a note on the table. “Let yourself out,” it said, “and forget my address.”
Stunned and in despair he didn’t know what to think, so he put his clothes on and walked down the street.
He waited in a café while he gave his friends a call, they said they would find him “so don’t move at all”. He got in the truck and told them about his night, princess is gone and he still doesn’t have a wife.
His roommate Eric punched him in the arm and said, “Maybe try Plenty of Fish, it can’t do any harm.”