Augustana Fashion Has Never Been More Relevant

by CAROLYN VENTER

After being told that I had to interview people who weren’t my friends, like a real journalist, I walked over to some outdoor education majors whom I had never met before in my life and asked them if I could interview them about their style.

Joedy Dalke opened up to me about his love of tall socks: “Joedy has got to have long socks. My style is all about functionality. If you wear ankle socks little rocks get in your shoes. You either have cankles or you wear high socks, like me.” Even though he referred to himself in the third person like a weirdo, I was thankful for his honesty.

“If you want to make him sound smart say that rocks get in between the medial epicondyle and achilles tendon,” stated a non-descript bystander who is not my friend.

“Today I am fashioning red converse, no socks obviously because who wears socks?” Stated Catlen Huseby, my other interviewee, as he glared at Joedy.

Joedy explained to us the importance of rolled up cuffs on pants and Arcteryx jackets. “They gotta come upways because I ride my bike to school, even in the winter months. Almost died today so now I have to start wearing a helmet.” Referring of course to pant cuffs and not Arcteryx jackets, which “are a staple in the outdoor world if you want to be accepted by your peers.” Catlen agreed with Joedy and added that “Arcteryx is the key to the outdoor world, without it you are nothing, you are nobody, and no one wants to talk to you.” Lastly, Catlen walked us through the art of friendship bracelets:”I have one but all the beads fell off. It was from Peru.”

When I asked the guys why they decided to grow their hair out Joedy muttered something we are not allowed to print. “Honestly, I was too lazy to pay for haircuts,” said Catlen.

“My mom’s a hairdresser so I get haircuts for free,” interjected Joedy.

“Joedy this is my interview,” stated Catlen as Joedy continued: “I wanted to have long hair because I ski and snowboard in the winter and I wanted [my hair] to be sticking out from my helmet and just like getting all the snow in it and it would be kind of flying backwards *demonstrates by shaking head furiously* and my mentor has got long hair, Anton perpetchka. That’s spelt like Anton Perpeka.”